Do you think Superman’s X-Ray vision ever gave anybody cancer?

Author: Mark McAvoy

When I was little I really wanted a dog so when ever someone said “It’s raining cats and dogs” I would stand in the rain for hours. Oddly enough I caught an emus and a orangutan. I guess they should change that saying.

Author: Zoe Bridges

I recently became a really big fan of the show “The View”. This isn’t supposed to be funny I just thought every one should know.

Author: Zoe Bridges

When I put the milk back in the fridge I put it teetering on the ledge. That way when my kid opens the fridge and spills the milk I can send him to his room while I play his video games.

Author: Zoe Bridges

I think it’s really mean when my girlfriend sprays the cat with a water gun when he starts to claw the furniture so to teach her a lesson I switched the water with mace…. She hasn’t sprayed our new cat once.

Author: Zoe Bridges

I don’t think my xbox should be the only one to have different skins

Author: Mathew Pitre

I wish mosquitoes were bigger so that after fogging everyone would appreciate poison more

Author: Pat Frovich

I shave a little bit more every day and tell people that I have a receding facial hair line.

Author: Travis Van Caster

I don’t know why trains entering tunnels make people think of sex. I mean, penises are a lot smaller than trains and my vagina wasn’t blasted out of rock.

Author: Marie Pierce

My work requires me to push shopping Carts, so I make time to enjoy it, which usually entails me recreating some of my favorite parts of GTA IV including making cars noises when I’m ramming my carts in to people and Cars, Coming to work drunk and walking like a zombie, Speaking Russian, and punching random shoppers.

Author: Arrison Warner